Floating Out to Sea

Today was the first day I felt a little clouded at school. The assignment was actually very easy, but for some reason I didn't have the confidence that I've maintained up until now. I feel like I always need just a little push in the right direction to gain momentum, then I'm gold. After class though, I did have a chance to talk to an instructor about it who gave me some feedback and a boost of needed confidence. But despite that, I can't shake this feeling of anxiety today. It's making me fidgety and impatient. Being a humid 95 degrees and rainy outside isn't helping either. I'm not really sure how I got into this funk, either. Grocery shopping and driving in the rain, too.

Grrrrr!

Anyways...

This past weekend, I took some initiative, brought my camera and tripod to the Garlic Festival in Saugerties. Didn't even get to enjoy the event, really. I spent the entirety of my time there shooting footage just for the sake of practicing what I've learned in school so far. It was a good learning experience and I even had enough confidence to get a few sound bytes from random citizens.

Afterward, I joined some friends from in and out of town for a brother's birthday party. Later on feeling ill from dehydration, I left without saying any goodbyes. I'm really disappointed with myself for doing this, but at the same time I felt pressured to leave for other personal reasons. This sort of thing happens all the time and I fear that I am alienating myself more and more from people I only wish to know better. Sometimes I think that there's something really wrong with me because I am always pushing people away, not letting anyone get close. That is not my intention, I just do it subconsciously or impulsively.

Maybe it's a defense mechanism, but it's really not doing me any good.

It doesn't help my relationship with my girlfriend any better either. In fact, there are certain factors of this mental wall that have come close to jeopardizing my relationship recently. And I'm trying extremely hard to overcome it. This blog is actually a bi-product of that intent. The more I can share and put myself out there, the more I feel I am chipping away at this defensive wall I put up.

I want to make new friends and strengthen the friendships that I already have before I drift too far away from everyone.

A Weekend's End

This past Saturday, I had a chance to help out on a TV. It was a lot of fun and a great learning experience. I picked up a lot of knowledge about lighting, from setting them up to manipulating them to enhance your shots. I even learned some tricks and tips for shooting in front of a green screen. Volunteering on this project put me way ahead of the game in my opinion and I look forward to further opportunities to do it again.

My whole weekend was great, really. Sunday was a great day spent with Nicole as we sampled some of the vendors at the Harvest festival in Washington park. I was able to take some cool photographs and Nicole even modeled for a few of them. For some reason, we were both on a thirst driven search for fresh apple cider that day, so we stopped at a farmer's market on the way home and our search was over. For some reason, the apple cider really makes me feel nostalgic for the Fall season. We both do, but Niki loves Fall way more than the average person; she put up decorations 2 weeks ago and has declared her birthday Niktoberfest.

Haha, I love it.

Caught up with a good friend of mine today. We grabbed some lunch and talked about what's going on in each other's current events. I was a little bit shocked when he told me that the road trip he had been planning was going to take place over the course of 2 months. It scared me a bit to think about what he planning, but as we continued the conversation, I became more rest assured that at least he is going to be prepared. A road trip across country by yourself is a daunting feat and it's something that I don't think I could do myself. I admire his courage in that respect and I have my fingers crossed for a safe journey and even safer return home.

New School, New Attitude

I'm starting this blog in dedication to Niki.

Firstly, I'd like to thank Mr. Brownlie for somehow reading my mind and helping me make sense of everything. Speaking with you gave me an incredible boost of confidence. I would also like to thank my Dad for all the support he has given me so far. And last but not least, I have to thank my gorgeous and wonderful girlfriend for inspiring me to do this at all. Without you, Nicole, I may have never even made the phone call. Thank you, Everyone.

With that said, my second week of classes has begun and I'm more excited about it now than ever!

I feel like I've learned a lot already in just a short amount of time thanks to the hands-on nature of the classes. Our instructors are great knowledgeable professionals and they keep the classes FUN!

Who else can say that their first homework assignment was to "watch TV". That's right, I get permission to watch TV every night!

I feel like I've picked up the linear editing process pretty easily and now we are beginning to work with our cameras. I've even had a chance to sit in front of the camera at a news desk and read a teleprompter, as well as controlling studio cameras in a studio and behind the scenes in the control room!

I'm looking forward to class each day and I can't wait to see what else lies ahead for me.

Stay tuned for more updates.

Bye, for now.

Adam